{{10 Day Blog Challenge-Day 4}}

SEVEN THINGS THAT CROSS MY MIND A LOT

{{In no particular order of importance}}

1. What IF I can't get pregnant?{{ I know. IF. Tiny word. HUGE meaning}}
2. Exactly how much longer can I handle this commute? {{My internal response is 'until you have children' which then leads me back to thought #1}} Though, I must say, changing my gym schedule before work has helped tremendously. It has cut my 1 1/2 hour commute in the morning down to 50 minutes.
3. When will I EVER get to a place where I can save money for a house? It seems like everytime I get ahead, something happens and catapults me back in the other direction. I just want something that's mine.
4.  My day WILL come, right? White picket fence optional.
5. I miss having an original BEST friend. I'm everyone's 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc Best Friend {Except his, but I'm referring to girls here} I miss having that one person that has known you your whole life.  Life didn't deal me good odds on that one.
6. HIM. He's ALWAYS on my mind. First thought in the morning and last thought at night. I've never been so emotionally, mentally, physically etc connected to someone before. 
7. I'm going back to NASHVILLE! EEEEEEEEEEEE! I'm so excited!
   
   
   
   

{{It's a holiday when we're together, I wanna stay with you forever}}

Is thing even on......Hello?.......Hellloooooo? No? I didn't think so.  It's been a while, eh?


So much has transpired over the last few months, I'm not even sure where to begin. I'll start with the obvious [[Up there! The blog title]] I have been SO spoiled over the last 2 months. C has been home a plethora of weekends and the majority of the week, too! His time home has been so wonderful. I think it is safe to say that the rough patch we were experiencing is finally behind us. Things have been our own version of perfection. Him being home so much is a blessing and a curse though because so often I find myself daydreaming of what it'd be like if he worked Monday through Friday. {{Although, that probably wouldn't work in my favor...I'd be plump for sure. We know how to eat and drink like champs when he's home}} I tried very very very hard to stay in the moment during these last few months and soak in every minute we spent together because I knew, eventually, it would end.  Here's what we've been up to:

I turned THIRTY!

First Place/Last Place

I got to go on one of his trips to FL

One of my best friends got married <3

Forth of July 2013

We've been on the bike. LEGALLY

He came to my first 5K of the year

Another BIKE day

We went to the beach

And for the most part, it has ended {{Though, we still have a week in August to spend together}} but for new and exciting reasons. He got a new job! {{No, it isn't Monday through Friday. All those wishes on 11:11 haven't paid off yet.}}It is, however, a step in a much better direction for him. The part that affects  us the most....more SCHEDULED. I love that word. I mean, let's face it. If you know me at all, you know I'm a pretty regimented person.

I set out to have an amazing summer this year. There would be no repeat of last year. It has far surpassed last summer...I have been to two concerts, and have two more to attend, witnessed a best friend's wedding and get to be apart of another good friend's wedding, had several beach days and hopefully several more, a long weekend on the CAPE with Katrina , and a week of camping with FRAMILY which means I get to see Helen. Oh, and the weather has been EXCELLENT. Hot, but I won't complain.

Here's a snapshot:

Trust me, we didn't need that bucket of sugar.

First Beach Trip!

Words aren't enough. AH-MAZING concert

We saw TIM!

Peas!

I got to hang out with this happy baby for a few days!

 In other news...my position at work got eliminated. GASP. It is NOT fun being on the other end of corporate restructuring. Trust me.  They eliminated the RFP only SA, the hybrid SA, and our quote technicians. In our places, they have created a new position called a 'proposal technician' {IE. Thank you, but no thank you}} and they fancied up the Service SA's title and job duties. We had the option of applying for 1 or both of the positions. Given my almost 7 years in the industry {SEVEN?! WHEN did THAT happen?} I opted to apply for the Account Consultant position. So it's ironic isn't it? I took this job here in Boston for the opportunity to do service, now here I am a little over a year later on the chopping block.  I have been waiting almost 4 very long, very stressful {stressful in the sense that I have NO idea what's going to happen and I was having nightmares almost nightly for a few weeks about losing my job} weeks to find out my fate. I am doing my very best to remain positive because let's face it, there's NOTHING I can do about this situation but ride it out.  If I don't get this position, I will be trained as a proposal technician anyway to help carry out the transition. {{What that really means is that I'll be looking for another job}} So, cross your fingers for me. I don't feel that my time here in Boston is done.

Speaking of Boston. I joined a gym there. {{Thanks to my rep for introducing it to me a few weeks ago}} Yep, it's pricey. But oh-my-gawd, is it the nicest gym I've EVER stepped foot in. {{http://www.healthworksfitness.com/clubs/back-bay/}} It has 2 floors of gym GOODNESS, in addition to a fully stocked locker room {{This means I don't have to lug the majority of my shower stuff, blow dryer etc to work every day}} It also has cut my 3-4 hour/day commute down to a little over 2. {{and what this means is, I am A LOT happier when I arrive home. I have time to sit down and actually unwind}} I have 1 week of leaving between 5 and 515am under my belt and no complaints thus far. I joined during a promotion so I was able to score 10 free small group training classes, 2 meetings with the personal trainer and a 25 minute massage. The only downside to this? I won't be going to the studio anymore. This makes me super sad, but I still have classes to use, so I don't have to let go just yet. The upside? I'm starting to feel pretty good about how I look. I still have a ways to go before I'm back to where I want to be, but overall it's been going really well. I'm trying to add in more strength training in preparation for my first 1/2 marathon. {{Because when I say I'm going to do something, I do it. I said I'd run a 1/2 the year I turned 30 and I will}} So far the running itself isn't where I'd like to be but I'm trying to remain optimistic that I'll get my mileage up sooner than later.  I keep waiting for that 'feeling' I used to get when I ran. The one that said, "ahhhh, this feels good, I could run forever". Luckily, I've moved beyond the, "This is friggin hard. Why did I quit running for so long?".

Shameless selfie. I know.

{{You're trying not to stop until you get where you're going}}

 
I spend so much time at work and on my Iphone that I rarely get the urge to dig out my laptop at home. Even now I think there's so many other things I could be doing than sitting in front of a screen but I have already done dishes, made mini pumpkin muffins {{Spice Cake Mix, can of pure pumpkin, 2/3 cup of water, 1/8 give or take of mini chocolate chips baked for about 13 minutes at 350= pretty darn delicious and not THAT terrible for you. It's a weight watchers recipe afterall. I made mine in a mini pan versus the full size and the recipe says 1 full size is worth 2 points so mine must be.... whoa....I digress}} and started a grocery list.

FIRST let me start by saying I am OBSESSED with the new song by Tim McGraw feat Taylor Swift {and Keith Urban?}  Seriously, go look it up and listen to it. I've had it on repeat for at least the last 1/2 hour. That's how I do songs I love. I wear them right out.

Sure hits home when the one you love is an Asphalt Cowboy

Where were we? OH! Here I am! ONE YEAR LATER. So much can happen over the course of the year. Cliche? Maybe. So true though.

One Year Later

 I know three to four different routes to and from work

 I know where I'm parked in the garage

I've run along the Charles River

I've eaten a delicous dinner in the North End

I've had a cannoli

I've gotten on a very crowded subway

I've seen them light the tree in the Common

I've seen the holiday lights

I've seen the PRU change the color of their lights

I've walked around Back Bay without getting lost

HolidayTree in the Common

First Run around the Charles

Represented the Grand Opening of Microsoft

Beautiful City

These may seem silly to you, but for me, they're huge accomplishments. Granted, I have a ways to go especially style wise. {{If ONLY I had unlimited funds to buy all the things pinned to my style board on Pinterest}}But I'm getting there. I feel less and less like an outsider and more and more like I belong.

I cannot remember exactly when it happened but I do remember there was a moment at work when I exhaled, looked around the office and thought, 'I finally made it. I no longer feel like the new girl anymore'. ohmygawd.didthatfeelamazing! I am undoubtedly blessed to have walked into an office of people that feel more like family than co-workers. That is highly improbable in most small offices that are predominantly female. I've formed some wonderful friendships. After a stellar review, I'm hopeful that this 'job' will become a successful 'career'

AND THEN there was this day I no longer cried when he left the yard. I should have recorded that on the calendar because I was certain that day would never come.  Now, that's not to say that I don't still miss him terribly when he's gone, because I do. So damn much. I have certainly done my fair share of weeble wobbling along the lines of, "is this the situation I want to be in for the rest of my life?" But, it always comes back to that indescrible feeling that overtakes me when I see him. I know without a doubt that I'm in this for better or for worse.  We have established previously that I'm a runner when things get tough. It is certainly not an attribute I'm proud, but over the years I've built up a pretty good " leave before left" defense mechinism. I couldn't walk away from this even if I tried.  I try to remind myself that our time apart could be a lot worse.{{January and February had him home 14 days a month. March isn't shaping up to be so hot currently but it IS the beginning of busy season}} He could be in the military. {{I know in my heart of hearts, I couldn't be a military wife. Kudos to all of you that are. You're amazing}} He could be a merchant marine. {{Hmm, they get longer stretches home though, don't they? And it's pretty scheduled? Maybe that wouldn't be soooo bad. No, never mind. I can barely last 7 days, let alone 21 or *gasp* months. I'm certain my record has been 9 days. I wasn't fairing too well by the end of that stretch} He could be in any of those various professions that take men away from their families. I should feel so lucky to have someone in my life that I WANT to spend THAT much time with. It is a situation that's getting 'easier' to adjust to. It doesn't feel like he's abandoning me when he leaves. It doesn't feel like he might never come back. It doesn't feel like I'm utterly and completely alone anymore.

I attribute this new found 'settled' feeling to my ability to adapt. Eventually. I've adapted to my schedule. I've adapted to phone conversations and day long text messages instead of seeing people in person as often as I used to. AND I made a friend in NH. Yes, a GIRL FRIEND. Funny story about that....I was perusing Craigslist one night looking for an effortless second job because I thought it'd be the only way to meet someone in this area. {{Yes, you can call that temporary insanity  because while I would make it work if I HAD to, there's really no way in hell I'd want to add a second job on top of my fully time job and part time commute}} Needless to say, nothing caught my attention so I started poking around the different sections of CL. I stumbled onto the "platonic" section and thought " do people REALLY post on here". Well yes, yes they do, incase you're wondering. So I clicked on the first ad that caught my attention roughly titled "In Need of GFs". I thought to myself, god damn, I'm in need of a real life person that lives in this state. I'm about to go insane. So, I responded, hesitantly. Let's be honest. The internet is scary. I've never really set out to meet anyone online. {{Aside from that guy I dated in high school, but that was more like a fluke. What were the chances he would live in the area I had NO idea I was about to move to? }} Anywho. I waited a few days. I thought to myself, that was dumb, I shouldn't have bothered. AND THEN I GOT A REPLY. I'm not gonna lie. I was giddy at the possibility of actually getting along with this girl. We e-mailed back and forth some pretty lengthy emails for a few weeks before we decided to meet for dinner. It's safe to say that we've been Friday Night lady date pals ever since.{{{Insert pretty funny story in which I told my two BFFs to call the police if they didn't hear from me by 9pm and completely forgot my DND was on and didn't check in until closer to 10pm. No one could ever say I don't have caring or concerned friends. Only trouble is everyone is too far away to do much about it if I  I'd say we're from pretty opposite walks in life but we have the ability to talk for hours and completely lose track of time. It's such a relief to have someone to eat chips and salsa, talk about random stuff and just relax with. Bonus, she loves the beach so when Cowboy is sitting at the weekend horse shows sweating underneath that sexy hat of his, I'll have my butt in the sand, soaking up the sun, reading girly magazines and splish splashing in the ocean with a friend. Total opposite of last year. Though Katrina, you and I WILL hit the beach up more than twice if I have anything to say about it.