Friday, June 29, 2012

{{Sure ain't no river baby, it's just my so called life}}

I have been MIA. For a while. It occurs to me, I only write when I'm miserable. That's not really how I wanted this blog to go. Years ago, my best writing came from pain.  A conundrum I find myself in. Do I continue this on? Do I only write when sad? But if I do that, people will think I'm all sorts of messed up. 50 shades of f@#&ed up, if you will. Speaking of that. I just finished Book 2. I know, I know, I know. There's a TON of controversy over these books. I gotta say.... Book 1. A little intense. By by the end, I needed to know more about the characters. By the end of Book 2, it wasn't about the sex anymore. I wasn't as affected by the scenes as I was in Book 1. Book 1 had me going...'do people really do this?!' I think it's the psych  major in me. I just wanted to know what his deal is. And for the most part, now I know, and it makes sense in some weird way. The thing I really connected to was her feelings for him. Uncaged, Unleashed, Uninhibited, Limitless. I can connect to that. Never in my life have I felt that way towards anyone I have been with. There's something very vulnerable about it. Yes, I am aware they are fictional characters, but I can't be the only one who has connected with a book character before, right? I mean, she even says "crazy with K". I thought I was the ONLY person that said that, ha.

So...what have I been doing over the last month or so? I've been being social. *GASP* I know. I know. I thought it'd never happen, but yes, I've been keeping busy. I went to my first truck show. We've been on a few double dates.  I've seen some different parts of the city, had some great food, and even better drinks. I'm finally feeling a little more at ease here, which is a pretty good feeling. Summer seeems to be flying by, as I thought it would. (See, I'm not as crazy as I appear, I said it would go by fast) I cannot believe it is almost July, already. I was also starting to get into my 10K running routine. I counted the weeks out and I would finish my program the first week of September, which I thought would be perfect for a 10K, after all I love fall running. Then, I had to get sick. AGAIN. This happened to me last time. I worked out 4-5 days consecutively then BAM. Immune system is giving me a huge middle finger and knocking me back on my rump again. I'm SO.NOT.IMPRESSED. Especially, since I've actually had good weather to run. I'm so desperate to get back to a normal running routine. It's killing me to do these intervals of only running a few minutes at a time. But I know, I have to follow it if I want to build my endurance back up. How is it even possible that last year at this time I was running the best I've ever run.? Oh how I miss track... It is amazing how much progress you can lose. Though, that is what I get for not making it a priority over the last year. But, enough is enough. I'm happy when I run. I'm happy when my clothes fit. I'm happy when I don't feel like a whale at the beach. {Don't. Don't start with your eye rolling here. You have to understand that I've seen my potential. I let that get out of hand} So, I'm determined to get back to it, even if that means getting up at 4:45am. I don't enjoy it, but it is really the only guarantee that it'll get done. My afternoons are so unpredictible, no thanks to traffic. I have to say that I've never been a good morning runner (though, that's funny because my best running has been at races in the morning, but that's neither here nor there) so this interval training thing has been good for me in the mornings.  That's pretty much it in a nutshell. I miss my Maine friends like crazy. I thank goodness for Facebook so I can keep up with how much their children have grown and what's going on in their lives. Life, sure has a way of bringing you close and taking you away. I am still learning how to manage that balance. I won't lie and say that I've gotten real good at it. I haven't. But, I'm trying in the ways I know how.

And I should mention that I'm very much looking forward to vacation in July. I know I just started my job, but I really do just need a week to breathe. Everything in the city is always go go go and go some more. I am not adjusted to that yet. I look forward to spending time with a few of my amazing friends, breathing in some good old fashioned Maine air, and dipping my toes and/or whole body into the ocean and just being carefree for a week. 28 days and couting.