Sunday, July 21, 2013

{{10 Day Blog Challenge-Day 2}}

  1. I have an irrational fear of parking garage gates falling on my car as I'm half way through. Well, it COULD happen, couldn't it?
  2. I LOVE going to COUNTRY concerts. I'd say it's probably a hobby at this point.{{Yeah, I'll go with that because I'm lacking in hobbies as it is}}
  3. I contemplate getting rid of FaceBook almost on the daily, because it's a constant reminder that I haven't had a baby yet. {{This is not a reflection of how I feel about my friends who have had a baby, or two, or even three}}
  4. I'm running my 1st 1/2 Marathon in October and I'm TERRIFIED that I won't be able to run the whole thing because sometimes my reverse psychology works against me instead of with me.
  5. I hate feet. Especially my feet. They're fat and they don't fit right in ANY pair of shoes. 
  6.  The older I've gotten, the more afraid of heights I've become. I never used to be afraid of heights. Not sure where this came from. I don't like it.
  7. I'm a little crazy about my house being clean. It legitimately stresses me out if I don't clean 1x/week. Summer is really getting in the way of  my cleaning schedule. 
  8. I like to play cribbage though I'm not that great at it.
  9. I don't tend to recognize the things I do well at. It causes some anxiety during mid-year/annual reviews and interviews.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

{{10 Day Blog Challenge-Day 1}}

Since I'm on a roll, I figured why stop now? I'm going to attempt a 10 Day Blog Challenge*

*Disclaimer: This 10 Day Blog Challenge may indeed take more than 10 days.

Okay here goes, TEN things you want to say to TEN different people right now {{in no particular order}}:

  • You were right. It was a show. I only wished you'd have told me differently. Maybe I would have realized it.
  • I've picked up the phone to call you on more than one occasion but I never dial your number.
  • I miss you.
  • There are so many days I think that we've been through so much, we can't possibly throw it all away.
  • You look incredibly happy and that makes me happy, you deserve it.
  • It breaks my heart that I'm not part of your life anymore.
  • You have always cut right through me with your words, but deep down I don't believe you really think those things, or do you?
  • You'll always be my first best friend.
  • You've always had a life I envied.
  • I still think you're one of the most beautiful people I've ever met.
  • I saw your picture the other day and it didn't make my heart hurt.
  • I wished I could have gotten closure another way, but it was the closure I needed.
  • I never meant to hurt you. I am truly sorry for the way things finally ended.
  • I didn't/don't know who you are anymore but I believe I got to experience a side of you that no one else ever has.
  • I hope you find happiness and peace in your life
  • I'm so greatful that I don't compare anyone to you any longer.
  • I hope you'll be faithful to the 'one'.
  • You put a lot on me that I couldn't handle emotionally. 
  • You were right, I had met someone else. But it wasn't the same as before. It was over between you and I. Finally.
  • You showed me what I did and did not want for me life, and for that I'll always be thankful.

  • I admire you, your marriage and your life..
  • I miss you, your husband, and your sweet children.
  • You did a lot for me that I'll never forget.
  • I always felt I'd let you down when I got divorced.
  • Because of that, you were the last person I told and why I've subconsciously kept my distance.
  • You're one of the sweetest, most genuine people I've ever met.
  • My life is forever changed crossing your path.
  • Reading your husband's Christmas letter is one of the highlights of my holiday.
  • Thank you for introducing me to Friday Night Lights-it is by far one of my favorite television series.
  • I hope to be 1/2 the parent you are to your children. 
  • If I could give you every single penny back, I would.
  • You were the best 'parents' to me, I'd ever had.
  • I always admired how you built your business from the ground up.
  • I've considering writing a million times, but because how much time has passed, I thought it would be inappropriate.
  • I didn't know how else to deal with it. I wish I could have reached out, but I couldn't. I didn't think I deserved to. 
  • You were one helluva business woman. I admired that, too. 
  • I miss camp. 
  • You spoiled me. Rotten. I can't thank you enough. 
  • Decorating the Christmas tree is still one of my favorite memories
  • And though I couldn't have predicted the end in a million years, I am forever greatful our lives crossed paths.
  • You have forever changed me.
  • I truly believe you're my soul mate.
  • I can't imagine a single day of my life without you in it.
  • Although I falter with confidence often, I've never felt so beautiful as I do with you.
  • You're the first person that has never tried to change me. Thank you.
  • I have never been so open and honest with anyone in my life. You know my deepest, darkest secrets and I wouldn't have it any other way.
  • I hate every second that you're gone but I admire how much passion you have for your profession. 
  •  You're the smartest man I've ever met. 
  • You challenge me every day, in a good way, and it's one of the things I love about you.
  • Seeing you with a child melts my heart over and over again. I can't wait to have your child. You're going to be the most amazing daddy.

  • I don't know why you never try to make plans with me. It drives me bananas. But, I don't initiate plans either. 
  • I love your children as if they were my own blood.
  • You have everything I want and sometimes I think you don't realize that. 
  • I truly believe we are connected in a way that defies logic
  • Thank you for introducing me to running
  • I miss seeing you weekly. 
  • Thank you for opening my eyes up to new experiences
  •  You're a phenomenal mother
  • I really need to/want to learn ASL. You inspire me to do so.
  • I'm proud of the young woman you've become
  • I saw your photo the other day and was taken back. Your life has caught up to you.
  • I used to think you ruined me, but now I know how strong I really am.
  • I wish you would have gotten professional help and stuck with it.
  • You're very smart and you threw that away.
  • You've missed more of my life than you experienced. 
  • I wish I knew the truth about my brother. Somewhere out there is someone that shares 1/2 of my DNA and it makes me sad I'll never get to know him. I'm probably an Aunt. 
  • I have your FB page saved as a favorite, so I can check in on you from time to time. 
  • I'm so envious of all my friends that spend time with their mothers. I'll never have that. You took that from me.
  • I listen to the same song every mother's day, "I wonder" by Kellie Pickler.
  • I think I developed my eclectic taste in music from you.

  • I wish you weren't so passive aggressive. 
  • I know I wasn't your choice, but I should have been an option you chose.
  • I don't understand why or how you don't want anything to do with me.
  • Between you and VII, I've been excluded from knowing my 'family'
  • I wish I could be part of my brother's lives, but the situation makes it complicated. 
  • Stop contacting me on Facebook. You're an adult and I'm an adult. But, you're still the parent. If you want to be part of my life, pick up the phone. 
  • I gave you ZERO trouble. I don't know why you always acted like I was so delinquent. 
  • I don't know why you never stood up for me. I was/am your child. I deserved more than that. 
  • I won't keep my children from you unless you treat me disrespectfully.
  • I've thought about calling a million times, putting everything under the bridge, but it's less stressful this way.

  • When we actually had a conversation that didn't involve country music, I breathed a sigh of relief.
  • I don't know why, but you were one person I wanted so desperately to like me. 
  • You're by far one of the funniest people I've ever met. 
  • I have so much fun with you.
  • I talk to you more than your husband now. When did that happen?
  • You never had anything to worry about. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. 
  • I was astonished the other day when you initiated a hug. Ha. 
  • You look better in those pants than I ever did. I'm always so damn envious. 
  • You're also one of the most patient, easy going people I've ever met. I could learn from you in that respect. 
  • I can't imagine going to a country concert without you. Concert Buddies for Life. {Said in the voice of Ted}
  •  People have said that we were an unlikely pairing
  • I don't always understand your connection to social media which makes me seem like a bitch. For that, I'm sorry. It's taken me a while to realize that's just part of you. 
  • Your workout posts annoyed me for a span of time. Mostly because I felt like you were acting superior after giving me such a hard time about counting calories etc earlier in the year.  I'm over that now and I hope you forgive me. {{I also don't think they were meant to 'act superior', it's just how I interpreted it at that time.}}
  • I'm really proud of your progress and your passion towards working out. 
  • I struggle with long distance relationships. Sometimes I need to be reeled back in because I can very easily put up a barrier. 
  • I want to start up weekly calls again. I felt more connected to you that way. 
  • I can't wait for you to meet Mr. Right and fall madly in love. That's my wish for you.
  • I hate seeing you once a year. 
  • I'm really proud of you for not settling for less than you deserve. 
  • You're a source of clarity that I haven't found in anyone else. 

And now that I've finally finished this post, I realize why I don't blog more often. It makes me cry. Aint nobody got time for dat!

{{It's a holiday when we're together, I wanna stay with you forever}}

Is thing even on......Hello?.......Hellloooooo? No? I didn't think so.  It's been a while, eh?

So much has transpired over the last few months, I'm not even sure where to begin. I'll start with the obvious [[Up there! The blog title]] I have been SO spoiled over the last 2 months. C has been home a plethora of weekends and the majority of the week, too! His time home has been so wonderful. I think it is safe to say that the rough patch we were experiencing is finally behind us. Things have been our own version of perfection. Him being home so much is a blessing and a curse though because so often I find myself daydreaming of what it'd be like if he worked Monday through Friday. {{Although, that probably wouldn't work in my favor...I'd be plump for sure. We know how to eat and drink like champs when he's home}} I tried very very very hard to stay in the moment during these last few months and soak in every minute we spent together because I knew, eventually, it would end.  Here's what we've been up to:

I turned THIRTY!

First Place/Last Place

I got to go on one of his trips to FL

One of my best friends got married <3

Forth of July 2013

We've been on the bike. LEGALLY

He came to my first 5K of the year

Another BIKE day

We went to the beach

And for the most part, it has ended {{Though, we still have a week in August to spend together}} but for new and exciting reasons. He got a new job! {{No, it isn't Monday through Friday. All those wishes on 11:11 haven't paid off yet.}}It is, however, a step in a much better direction for him. The part that affects  us the most....more SCHEDULED. I love that word. I mean, let's face it. If you know me at all, you know I'm a pretty regimented person.

I set out to have an amazing summer this year. There would be no repeat of last year. It has far surpassed last summer...I have been to two concerts, and have two more to attend, witnessed a best friend's wedding and get to be apart of another good friend's wedding, had several beach days and hopefully several more, a long weekend on the CAPE with Katrina , and a week of camping with FRAMILY which means I get to see Helen. Oh, and the weather has been EXCELLENT. Hot, but I won't complain.

Here's a snapshot:

Trust me, we didn't need that bucket of sugar.

First Beach Trip!

Words aren't enough. AH-MAZING concert
We saw TIM!


I got to hang out with this happy baby for a few days!
 In other position at work got eliminated. GASP. It is NOT fun being on the other end of corporate restructuring. Trust me.  They eliminated the RFP only SA, the hybrid SA, and our quote technicians. In our places, they have created a new position called a 'proposal technician' {IE. Thank you, but no thank you}} and they fancied up the Service SA's title and job duties. We had the option of applying for 1 or both of the positions. Given my almost 7 years in the industry {SEVEN?! WHEN did THAT happen?} I opted to apply for the Account Consultant position. So it's ironic isn't it? I took this job here in Boston for the opportunity to do service, now here I am a little over a year later on the chopping block.  I have been waiting almost 4 very long, very stressful {stressful in the sense that I have NO idea what's going to happen and I was having nightmares almost nightly for a few weeks about losing my job} weeks to find out my fate. I am doing my very best to remain positive because let's face it, there's NOTHING I can do about this situation but ride it out.  If I don't get this position, I will be trained as a proposal technician anyway to help carry out the transition. {{What that really means is that I'll be looking for another job}} So, cross your fingers for me. I don't feel that my time here in Boston is done.

Speaking of Boston. I joined a gym there. {{Thanks to my rep for introducing it to me a few weeks ago}} Yep, it's pricey. But oh-my-gawd, is it the nicest gym I've EVER stepped foot in. {{}} It has 2 floors of gym GOODNESS, in addition to a fully stocked locker room {{This means I don't have to lug the majority of my shower stuff, blow dryer etc to work every day}} It also has cut my 3-4 hour/day commute down to a little over 2. {{and what this means is, I am A LOT happier when I arrive home. I have time to sit down and actually unwind}} I have 1 week of leaving between 5 and 515am under my belt and no complaints thus far. I joined during a promotion so I was able to score 10 free small group training classes, 2 meetings with the personal trainer and a 25 minute massage. The only downside to this? I won't be going to the studio anymore. This makes me super sad, but I still have classes to use, so I don't have to let go just yet. The upside? I'm starting to feel pretty good about how I look. I still have a ways to go before I'm back to where I want to be, but overall it's been going really well. I'm trying to add in more strength training in preparation for my first 1/2 marathon. {{Because when I say I'm going to do something, I do it. I said I'd run a 1/2 the year I turned 30 and I will}} So far the running itself isn't where I'd like to be but I'm trying to remain optimistic that I'll get my mileage up sooner than later.  I keep waiting for that 'feeling' I used to get when I ran. The one that said, "ahhhh, this feels good, I could run forever". Luckily, I've moved beyond the, "This is friggin hard. Why did I quit running for so long?".
Shameless selfie. I know.