Sunday, February 19, 2012

Dear Board, please approve PBI because....

I am now the proud owner of:
{When I asked him what we would do with 2 Keurigs? He said we could put one in the garage}

Now, I can make Momma Foster's pulled pork---AND---it's PROGRAMMABLE! Yesss!
I can boil water now, if necessary

Knives! Yay!
I also purchased {In no particular order...}: 2 wine glasses, a set of glasses, 2 coffee mugs, black dish towels, a new set of sheets, a cutting board, a can opener and cleaning supplies.

Next weekend when I'm not so awstruck about having my own place, I'm going to take further inventory of what else I need. IE: What color the bathroom walls actually  are, because I need towels and bathroom accessories.

THEN. It's new clothes time. Yah. This girl needs to start her 'city' wardrobe.

I am getting more and more excited as each day passes. Every so often it occurs to me that I'm going to be 3.7 miles away from him. Not 95 miles {The distance is up for debate. My GPS says 76. He says 80 and change} Less than 10 minutes. Not less than 2 hours. How ridiculously awesome, is that going to be?! Today, I was driving aimlessly{I thought I knew where I was going, but it turns out, I didn't so I ended up in the middle of a sunday drive} and I saw a handful of couples taking advantage of the beautiful weather by strolling hand and hand down the road. I thought to myself 'ohmygoodness! I'm going to be able to do that soon!'. It doesn't seem like it was 5 whole months ago that I wondered how well I'd handle a long distance relationship. Can't wait to see what month 6 holds for us. It can only get better <3

Which leads me to proclaim how excited I am for March. Yes, I said excited. {Mmmhmm, the girl who hates March} On the calendar for March 1st-March 5th:  Moving into my OWN place, Eric Church & Brantley Gilbert with some fantastic people, a road trip to New Jersey, a night in NYC, my first motocross experience, {Yes, I learned it is motocross and not motorcross} and last but not least, starting my new job. That is a lot of fun to squeeze into 1 week. Watch for photos, coming to a FB page near you...

Tomorrow signals the beginning of the end of my Unum career.

Monday, February 13, 2012

She said 'I think I'll go to Boston...' Part 4

I find it amazing that the easiest part of this journey has been getting the job offer. Shouldn't that have been the hard part?{ I can't tell you the number of people who have told me I am lucky to get a job in this economy. I hadn't really considered that. In fact, I haven't properly celebrated getting this job....} Instead, everything else has been a process. Not only has my background check NOT processed through {even though she said Friday would be the earliest...I'm not the most patient of people and do you know how difficult it is to go and look at places and talk with people when you absolutely no idea when you start date is? Sure. I'll agree to live here? } but the showings proved to be difficult, too. Come to think of it....In the last, 7 years, I've only looked at one place. So, that could very well be apart of my issue. I looked at 3 places yesterday. The first one went like this: 22 year old girl greets me in underwear (okay, so maybe they were shorts but they were so small, they could have passed for boy cut underwear) and a tank top. Do I need to say anymore? The second one can best be described as a speed date. I wish I could take credit for that term, but she coined it. It was a perfect analogy. Well, not that I've speed-dated before, but if I did, I'd imagine it would go a lot like this did: "What are you pet peeves"--"What annoying habits to you have?"--Place was gorgeous. Owner was sweet. Not the most 'comfortable' fit, but probably could make it work. The third place can best be described as "future hoarder". I mean that nicely. The couple was very nice and explained that her boyfriend had just moved in (after 4 me, I am not one to judge but....) and she didn't quite know what to do with the 'stuff'. The 4th roommate stays to herself, they think it's a culture thing. It just didn't sit right with me. I realized that I was so overwhelmed with looking at ads, that I was bound to just pick a place to be done with it. The smart part of me told me that this wasn't the situation to do that in. I needed to find a place where I'd be comfortable, where I could invite people over, and where I could unwind after work for starters. So back to the drawing board, I went. Then I found this: Insert Basement Apartment here. I decided to email the link to the boy who immediately replied, "call that one." Call? Whattyamean? I had already emailed them back.... Oh wait! Re-read the ad, and wouldn't you know that I completely overlooked the phone number. My attention to detail is clearly on a hiatus. I'm seriously slacking. I call. She calls back a few hours later. Not only does she try and talk me out of it because it's not 'close' to Boston, but she tells me it may not be available in 2 days (as I'm planning on taking Wednesday off to schedule viewings). >>Insert exasperated sigh here <<  I casually mention that I'm dating someone in a nearby town and that I'm not a 'stay out all night and party' girl but more of a 'glass of wine and read a book' girl. She laughs. She says, " well, you can send your boyfriend over to look at it if you want." Uhm really? I can't quite wrap my head around that as I would assume as a landlord, you'd want to meet the person that will be renting from you, not their significant other but hey... I really need a place to live and I like this I call my sweet and deathly ill boyfriend and explain the situation. He sets an appointment with her. Now, I'm not sure if I've mentioned before how ridiculously good my boyfriend is at reading people. He is likely the best judge of character, I've ever known in my life. Less than 5 minutes on the phone and he had already pegged her. He's that good. And in probably less than 5 minutes, he's sweet-talked this lady into renting to me. Voila. Little girl from Maine going to the big city finally has a place of her own. I'm afraid I'm going to love it so much that I won't want to move in with him. I am so ridiculously happy to be done perusing craigslist. Also, ridiculously lucky to have such a supportive man in my life.

That's a great segway {spell check does not like this is a word isn't it?} to discuss Valentine's Day, right? I can make you all nauseous by telling you that every day feels like Valentine's Day with him? I've made plenty of jokes that I want chocolate covered strawberries, perfume, and a card. But honestly, I don't need or want anything different than what I already have.  I would agree that Valentine's Day has been a 'hallmark' holiday for a while now. Now me, I love cards. So, any holiday that involves cards is right up my alley. I also love, love. You'd think I'd be incredibly jaded, but I'm not. {Hence my tears during The Vow} But, I don't need a designated day to feel loved as he makes me feel loved and special {Sorry, babe, I'm pretty sure I just stole your line...} It also didn't stop me from getting him a card and a little "something" for our first Valentine's Day. I am scrapbooking our first year, after all:)

Now, c'mon Prudential, send me an email to confirm my offer is final...

Monday, February 6, 2012

She said 'I think I'll go to Boston...' Part 3

To say that the last few days have been a roller coaster, would be an understatement. By Friday, my "living situation" had fallen through and by Sunday, I had no idea what I was going to do. Was I going to take the leap? Or was I going to stay in my comfort zone? Staying would be easier. Was I strong enough to face the amount of change that was coming at me? I didn't know if I had the strength and courage to carry this plan to fruition. I regret to say that for a few days, I was overly emotional, irrational, and plain insane. I have gone through a lot of different things in my life, but I can't recall change of this quantity. It seemed like every time I thought about things, some new issue presented itself. I couldn't process. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't commit to a decision. I couldn't figure out what the best thing was. I couldn't figure out how to put myself first. It felt like my safety net had been ripped from me, though it was through no fault of his or mine.  My frustration turned to fear which eventually turned to anger. Before I even knew what was happening, that anger was being misdirected towards the one person in my life that had done nothing but try to help me, try and calm me, and try to tell me that everything would be okay.  I am choosing not to disclose the details, because there are situations that are better left private---But what I will tell you, is that as devastating as this weekend was, I learned a lot about myself and a lot about him. To come out of this situation stronger is only further proof that giving him my heart was one of the best things I've ever done.

He deserves me at my best.

After an ocean of tears {I'm talking some serious eye leaking. They just wouldn't stop}, I knew I had no choice but to make a solid decision. {A wise man told me that I wouldn't accomplish anything crying in bed all day... it wasn't easy to hear, but the truth can be painful sometimes} I knew that once I made the decision, it would give me something to stand behind. I could let go of  the "back and forth" thinking that had overstayed its welcome in my life. It took far too long for me to realize that my wavering indecision regarding my career had caused a lot of unnecessary tension. After talking it over with my friend, {who has 12 years of experience dealing with me and someone who has seen me through every life experience, I've had..} she pointed out to me that my reasons for wanting to leave my current job, location, friends, and comfort zone had nothing to do with him. I don't know why I couldn't see it before.  I couldn't seem to separate my heart from my head. I truly didn't know how to do it, until I had no choice. It took being backed into a corner and scared to death of failure to realize that no one else could make this decision for me.

So, here I am doing something on my own. Miss Indecisive is finally making a decision. Nothing like taking a huge leap and hoping everything will fall into place.  I know deep down, that when I've gotten through the stress of finding a place to live, carrying out the actual move, and getting settled into my new job, I'm going to feel so much more accomplished and self-sufficient.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

She said 'I think I'll go to Boston...' Part 2

Let me start by saying, this is the 4th night in a row that I've gotten hives. My body reacts to stress in the most BIZ-AAR ways. {4 years of stomach issues ring a bell?}

My range of emotions is cycling. Rapidly. I started out Monday being very, very excited. By Tuesday night, I was in panic mode. By Wednesday, I wasn't sleeping.

I have tossed and turned the last 2 nights with these thoughts whirling in my head...

Am I making the right decision? It seemed too easy, what's the catch? Will I be as successful in this job as I am now? Will I adapt to the city? Will I have a difficult time driving in the city? Will I be able to find a place to park without going insane? Will I ruin my relationship by moving in? Will I be okay by myself when he's gone? Will I make new friends? Will I lose friends? Will I be able to get everything done that I need to do to move in 2 weeks? Will I pass the test? Where will I store my stuff that I can't take right now? What stuff? Gawd, I don't have anything, really {Insert feelings of failure here} We need pots and pans. And silverware. I need to ramp up my wardrobe. I need to do a change of address. I just did a change of address. I need to switch my license. I need to call to find out how to roll my 401K. Which medical plan should I pick? How much will benefits be? Will I find a new gym to join? I need to cancel my current membership. How will I find a new doctor? Dentist? Crap, I need to cancel my dentist appointment. And the list goes on...

Needless to say, it's been a long week. This was compounded with the fact he was on the road Sun-Wednesday...having the worst trip I've witnessed to date. I had limited opportunity to talk with him and when I did, it wasn't the right time to talk about the massive changes about to take place. I was unsettled. I was impatient. I was sad. It occurred to me that the girl who has been pretty self sufficient for most of her life, suddenly needed someone. We're talking really needed him. I needed him to tell me everything was going to be okay. I needed him to tell me I had made the right decision. I needed him to hold me while I cried. But he couldn't. I needed to be strong, at least for a few more days. My life, as I've known it thus far, is changing faster than I can keep up with. My roommate said something earlier this week that I keep trying to repeat when I feel overwhelmed. It is a lot of change, but it's doable. She's right. This isn't something I can't do. It isn't impossible. It is just really damn hard.    

oh. and to top it all off, I dropped my Iphone in the toilet today....