Thursday, January 5, 2012

Ten Day Challenge – Day Three {8 Fears}

It is not failure itself that holds you back; it is the fear of failure that paralyzes you. 

Absolutely.Positively.Without.A.Doubt. TERRIFIED to fail. {Hence my perfectionist personality}

2. Rejection and/or not being Enough
Story of my life. I hate it. In fact, the latter half made me physically ill for four years. When you're deemed not good enough for your own family, you grow to fear not being good enough for anyone else.

3. Water
When I was young my mother hit a drop off and nearly drowned with me on her back. I have a horrible memory but this is something I can close my eyes and see vividly. A few years later, I was playfully shoved off a 12 foot diving board into 10 feet of water. I hit my diaphram and stopped breathing. Oh AND I'm a terrible swimmer.

4. Heights
I never thought I would be one to say this. I grew up obsessed with roller coasters and thrill rides. BUT, the older I get, the more scared I become. It seems the more I try to conquer my fears with heights, something worse comes out of it. IE I agree to go ziplining and I ended up hanging myself from a my wasn't a good experience.

5. Being chased and not being able to get away
Kinda random, I know. I have recurrent dreams that involve someone chasing me and I can never escape. Each time, my legs just cease to move. It scares the hell out of me that I would freeze in a situation like that. 

6. Public Speaking
There's not a moment where I don't kick myself for not taking a public speaking class in college because man, I could really use it. It doesn't matter how confident I am on a subject, the minute I get in front of a crowd, I start shaking and stumbling over my words. Oh and sweating. A. Lot. 

7. Being a terrible mother
This should probably go with #1 But.... When you're in my position, you can only pray that you do everything the 'right' way, so you can make up for the awful childhood you had but there's this tiny spot in my mind that says 'what you if you end up just like her?'

8. Rodents
I just don't like small creatures scurrying about. I will scream. I will climb up on whatever I can to avoid them. Yeah. I am that girl.

To be honest, this was tough. I mean, I know can be a pretty big baby but it was difficult to come up with 8 concrete things I fear.  What fears do you have?

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